Homeschool Josh Bonus

I still worry about homeschool.  Am I doing enough?  Is he where he should be?  I do know the stress of this household is gone!!  Last year the tension was so deep....I don't have that now.  I must say that I love the time that Josh and I can spend together.  I know we have a crazy life....running to practice, watching Chloe.  I know he spends most of the time on the computer doing his work, but I love those in between moments.  I love the moments with one on one conversation.  So Josh, this post is for you.    Some day if I die and you come back to read my blog I hope you will remember this.
     The other day in the car you randomly told me how you wish you could give up your sports talent and just be smart.  You went on and on telling me that you were not smart at anything and you will never be smart.  As a mom, that broke my heart.  More than anything I want you to be a Jesus lover and follower.  I was never smart and I am not smart now.  Somehow I graduated from HS and believe it or not, by the skin of my teeth, I graduated college.  Am I smart?  No!!  Can I even attempt your Algebra problems? No!!  But Josh, you don't have to be smart.  You just have to know how to find the answers.  All those times I helped on the hw, I didn't know what the answer was, but I knew who to ask for guidance or I knew which resource to pull out.  Even if I had to google the answer, I knew where to go.  Sometimes I spend several hours researching a project or a trip...and that's ok.  You don't have to be smart and rattle things off your head....you just need to know how to figure it out or where to go.
     I've seen you grow these past few weeks.  I've seen you have compassion on a kid on your team who wasn't a good player.  I've seen you high five him.  I've seen you talk to him.  I even heard you tell me how you felt bad for him when it was his bday and he only got to play in one play of the game.  You saw that he was struggling and you reached out to him.  You took him his favorite candy the next practice day to tell him I hope you had a nice bday.  Josh.....that is so much beyond the book smart.  If I could reach out to people the way that you have showed me that is worth more than any book smarts.
     I know that you are facing adversity now.  I know you feel defeated thinking that you are no good at football, but the truth is, you are.  You are good at almost any sport you play!!  I know that things are not fair right now.  I know that someone that has not attended games or practices comes in and not only plays one position but take over your position seems unfair.  It is, but I think it will only teach you to work harder.  Life is unfair.  This will happened time and time again.  As a momma bear I want to growl at all these people, but I have to leave the emotional part behind and go on.
    So someday when you read this just know that I always worried about my job as a mom and an educator and I hope you know that God has a plan for your life if you will just follow and keep working hard!!