Struggling

I must admit, I've been having a hard time lately. I'm struggling in a lot of areas.
1. I'm having a hard time because I feel like the "bad guy" of the family. I'm the one who has to make sure their homework gets done, baths are finished, tests are studied for etc. I try to have everything done so that Jack can enjoy them when he gets home, and once daddy gets home they get to play....so that makes me look like the mean drill sergeant.
2. I also have a hard time because I get jealous of women who have their men working from home, or they get home very early. I could get out with friends earlier and more often. Since he doesn't get home until 6 or after, he doesn't have a lot of time with the kids, so I do try to have the majority of stuff done so that he can spend time with them.
3. I have a hard time because I'm a little tired of being the "assistant". Melody gets all the parents letters and compliments as well as all the credit. Things are done "her way". Even with teaching at SCS, I "share the responsibility". Joshua made a comment to me the other day, and I guess it "stung". "Mom, why are you always the helper and never the real teacher". Maybe I'm wrong because I feel like I have a gift working with the young kids, but I am so ready to take the reigns (and maybe some day I might regret saying this). I would like to plan the month, do the bulletin boards, talk to the parents.....blah blah blah!
4. Lastly I struggle because because I'm tired of being the assistant, I'm not really happy at preschool. I hope that changes. I enjoyed my time (and I guess that spoiled me), and I enjoyed subbing at the kid's school any time I was called. Jenene has asked me for 3 more days and I had to turn two of them down. I would like to be around the kids at school more. Maybe it's because at least then I'm in charge, and it makes me feel like I can handle it!!! Maybe it's because in both classes we have autistic children, plus other ones that are difficult.

Maybe I should just give this year some time. Maybe I should just learn to be content with my journey for now. Maybe I should realize this is all part of being a mom.