The Ugly Truth

Technology today is a blessing but it can also be a downer.  Social media is full of "look what I did".  It is full of the wow moments!!  There is nothing wrong with that.  I am guilty of it myself.  The downfall is that you don't see the down right ugly days of people.  People who hurt or are disappointed or just can't figure things out.

I am full of that this week.  "The Ugly Truth"......I am a hot mess in need of a loving God.  Things really aren't that bad, but I don't feel like we have it all together like I try to portray. Here is where I see things:

Joshua:  He loves Jesus and wants to go on to college.  Truth is we are clueless.  Does he want to major in youth ministries or does he want to do sports management?  Where does he go?  Pensacola is on the fence about accepting him, not because of character, but because ACT scores are lower than they want.  BJU has accepted him, but he will have to do some pre-work before attending college.  Grades and things like that don't come easy for him at all.  Test scores show that.  He works hard though.  So....here we are almost the start of March and have no clue what the future holds!

Jacob and Jenna: Although they are well accepted by their friends, do not have "best friends".  I rarely see them invited by their school friends to things.  Again, you are bombarded with social media and the fact that a group of friends got together and yet your child is rarely invited.  I worry sometimes.  I guess it probably isn't a thing I should be concerned about, especially when I see them every day at school and watch them interact.

And then there is me.  I struggle deeply with my identity and who I am.  Always struggling thinking I am second best or not good enough in many relationships and scenarios.  I struggle with not measuring up or being looked over for things.  I have to remind myself that I am loved by God and I am a daughter of the king.

Again, nothing bad happening in my life.  Just keeping it real and showing that I like everyone else try to keep my head above water.  I love to post the great moments, but underneath the surface, the "ugly truth" is that I really don't have everything together!!

Sr. Night Basketball

Time please slow down!  I can't believe this week is Valentine's week.  We just finished basketball (although he has one more game for the conference tournament) and we also just had senior night.  It was a bittersweet night.  I can't tell you how much I am going to miss watching him play basketball.  Hard to believe in 3 months he will be graduated and moving to the Wilds for the summer.

Homecoming/Spirit week

This week was spirit week with homecoming on Friday.  It was a fun week to "dress down" out of uniforms.  Tuesday was character day, Wednesday was food day, Thursday was favorite team day and Friday was wear SCS gear.  Jenna has a picture of her on food day.  She went with two of her friends and dressed as chick fil a fries.  Her two friends were the cow and the Chick fil A worker.  Tuesday they went as the Monsters Inc characters.  I was "Jesse" on Tuesday, but the bad thing was that I ended up running the front desk. It was kinda embarrassing, especially when the UPS guy came in!!

Broken Nose

Last Thursday was an interesting night.  We had an away game (Garner).  The team is one of the teams I hate the most.  Josh goes for a steal and gets clobbered right smack in the nose.  I could see a few drops starting so I knew he would have to come out.  By the time he got to the sidelines, he was dripping blood everywhere.  One of the coaches ushered him out and the blood was just pouring out.  We finally got some ice on it and after the game headed to the emergency room.  $500 later and they told us they could not do anything because the swelling was so bad.  They referred us to an ENT.  I called and got him in the next day.  The guy looked at it and talked to us a bit and then decided to push on it.  He looked at it and said he thought it was working...….poor Josh looked like he was about to pass out!!  He decided to push harder and I could hear it snap!  Ugh!!  Poor guy.  He was in such pain.  Doctor told us that once the swelling went down to look again and if we were not happy to call him back and he would do outpatient surgery this week.  Thankfully we were happy with it.  He had no black and blue marks or bruises.  Thankful it went ok.  He didn't play the next night, but he was back at it tonight.  Mamma bear did not get any pictures of anything, but I can't wait to see the replay once we get the video of it.

Christmas photos

Lessons

These past 30 days have been one of the most difficult times I have ever gone through.  I can't even go into detail, but I felt like I was in the worst nightmare that would never end.  I am thankful for God's love, protection and mercy.  Still have a long battle ahead, but each day is getting better.  I have learned to always be alert because you never know what people are facing.  It has also taught me to show more compassion and mercy to others.

Watching the kids play basketball has been my lifeline.  It is a hustle/bustle schedule, but just being able to take my mind off of things for a while was a gift. I treasured those moments.  I embraced the good moment to help me get through the bad moments.

And then the timing of God amazes me. I was given an amazing opportunity to teach Bible this year to 6th grade girls.  Actually, the position came open the first week of school and I asked to take it thinking there was no way he would give it to me, but he did.  I love my 6th grade girls.  Here was the note I received: "I can't even begin to tell you how huge an impact you had on Eva today.  She was touched so deeply by the fact you picked a gift tailored to her.  Your thoughtfulness and awareness of what she likes made her feel so loved.  It meant so much to me to see her feel so deeply-thank you for loving on my girl and I know you are loving on each of them just as you are for her.  I am so thankful that you are her Bible teacher this year. I know that had to be an investment for you but I promise you God took it and used it mightily."  Wow.....Thank you God for that encouragement tonight!!

Here we go

Basketball season has started.  Thankfully this year Jenna has moved up and most of her games are right before Joshua's.  Last night just the girls played so we drove to Rocky Mount.  Next week their games will be together. So proud of my girl as she was nominated by her team to be one of the captains for the year.