winter wonderland.....

The kids have had a really great time with the snow. I swear next year I'm going to make sure they all have gloves and hats (instead of wearing socks on their hands). It didn't stop them from their fun. Today was a lot warmer than yesterday. I even got out and enjoyed the the sledding fun with them today. They even took the outdoor rocking toy and made it into a sled!! I really had a great time. I'm sure they'll have more fun since school is cancelled for tomorrow.

birthday bash

Joshua's b-day plans got put on hold. He was able to have two friends (Jonathan and Sutton) over from school yesterday. Then we all went to dinner, took the boys home and it started to snow....whew....we got that part done, however Wes and Travis are not able to come today. The good news is that they both can come next weekend. He took a birthday cookie into school to share with friends, then the boys came over and played WII and football. Next we went to Chili's for dinner. (they sang to him and we had a small cake). He was excited to come home and open our presents.......a flag football set, and he found out that he will be playing flag football in April and that he will be on Travis' team, and Travis' dad will be the coach! I think he was super excited!! I think his 9th b-day was good, and now it will extend until next weekend!

Happy Birthday, Joshua!!!!!

Today, Joshua turns 9! I can’t believe I have a 9 year old. It seems like yesterday he was just born and now he is one year away from being in the double digits! Let me share my Joshua story on this very special day. All my life I wanted to be a wife and mom. Jack and I got married and we both knew we needed time as a couple before we started on the lifelong journey of parenthood. I always worried that I would not be able to have kids. The time came when we started trying. After what seemed like an eternity of trying and after getting settled into a new job and getting new insurance I finally got in to my doctor to try for “extra help” in getting pregnant. I was so excited to start on this journey. A few days later I got a call from my doctor……”do not start the medicine…..you can’t get pregnant at this time….you are not immune to Rubella and you need a shot and you have to WAIT THREE MONTHS to start trying”. I know three months is not a long time, but when you are trying, it is an eternity. I would cry a lot because I saw so many of my friends and relatives getting pregnant….and so easily. I made it through the three months, went back to the doctor and we got started. I must admit that time was very trying as we had to keep getting blood work done, adjusting the medicine accordingly. At the end of the third month of medicine (Clomid) it worked. I remember waking up early to take a pregnancy test. I waited the three minutes and it was positive. I knew it couldn’t be right because I put the test up side down! (that’s what happens after so many negative tests). To prove my theory of messing up the test, I decided to go out and buy another one. This was 7 am in the morning and the only thing open was Food Lion. I remember telling Jack I had to go to the store and I had to go now….but I didn’t tell him why. I came home, took the second test, and of course, it was positive. I had a pretty easy pregnancy….no sickness, few cravings. Late December they put me to part time because of the swelling in my feet, and the last two weeks, I had “bed rest”…..which was pretty much just stay at home and keep the feet up. Sunday morning, January 29th I didn’t feel the greatest, so we stayed home from church (he was due on the 25th). Evening came, and I called my doctor for what I think is contractions. She said to call if it got to 10 minutes in between. The Super Bowl came on and I sat through the ENTIRE superbowl (Jack can still tell you who was playing) having contractions, nothing really bad, and not close enough. I remember starting the first season of Survivor. Around 10:30 or 11 the doctor called me back and told me to come on in. When I got to the hospital they almost sent me home because my contractions would not register on the computer. I was a little frustrated and tired, but the doctor checked me and said I was dilating and far enough to stay! At 5:50 in the morning, I had Joshua Caleb McLean weighing 8 pounds and 1 ounce. We ran into obstacles with him being born with cleft palate, my post partum depression and things like that, but God saw us through it all. After two years of doctors and hospitals, the worse was behind us. Happy 9th Birthday, Joshua!! You are a blessing from God and we love you very very much!!!

Future Baker

My thanks to Sara for helping me find this apron for Jenna. I've been looking for one for quite awhile and Kohl's had this for under $5. Jenna loves to help me in the kitchen. She also likes to use her EZ Bake oven. Here she made some donuts with sprinkles.

Getting to know me.....

A friend of mine sent me this email and I thought it would make a good post:

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:15
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Blind Side
4. What is you favorite TV show? The Biggest Loser
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? whatever I can find/have time for
6. What is your middle name? Leah
7. What food do you dislike? veggies
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Selah/Casting Crowns
9. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Corolla
10. Favorite sandwich? Red Robin Burger
11. What characteristic do you despise? A lot of them
12. Favorite item of clothing? sweats
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Hawaii
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Don’t really care
15. Where would you retire to? Just want to retire
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I don’t think I’ve had a b-day that really sticks out to me.
17. Favorite sport to watch? football
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Apex
19. Person you expect to send it back first? ?
20. Random fact? ?
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? definitely morning..
22. What is your shoe size? 8
23. Pets? none
24. What did you want to be when you were little? Teacher
25. How old are you today? 40
26. What is your favorite candy? Hersheys with almond/reese peanut butter cup
27. What is your favorite flower? Lily (not Easter lily)
28. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? April 8th…..going to Washington DC with the family
29. What is your full name? Jennifer Leah Wagher McLean
30. What are you listening to right now? Background of TV
31.What was the last thing you ate? chips
32. Do you wish on stars? Nope
33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple
34. How is the weather right now? Sunny and cool
35. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? Nobody
36. Favorite soft drink? Diet coke
37. Favorite restaurant? Outback
38. What is your true hair color? red, brown, blonde...whatever it is now
39. What was your favorite toy as a child? Paper dolls/dolls
40. Summer or winter? Summer
41. Hugs or kisses? both
42. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
43. Coffee or tea? neither
44. Do you want your friends to email you back? Doesn’t matter
45. When was the last time you cried? Last Sunday….Jack was gone, kids were sick
46. What is under your bed? Lots of junk
47. What did you do last night? The Bachelor (nothing else on TV)
48. What are you afraid of? Me leaving my kids (sickness/death)
49. Salty or sweet? both
50. How many keys on your key ring? 6
51. How many years at your current job? 4 at preschool
52. Favorite day of the week? Friday
53. How many towns have you lived in? 5
54. Do you make friends easily? No. I’m shy and people interpret that to being stuck up.
55. How many people will you send this to? 6
56. How many people will respond? No need to respond, just fun to do.

catching up......

Let's see....last Wednesday was still bad as the autistic boy came back. He was so bad.....spitting, pushing kids down, hurting them. It took 3 of us in the classroom and then my boss ended up calling the dad to have him go home. We thought he was gone for good and that mom and dad got the message, but low and behold he showed up again today. Melody and I could not believe it and our nerves were shot. Melody was in tears and FINALLY my boss told mom it was not going to work and that he could not come back. Either he had to go, or I would....it was that bad!!!
Jack got home Friday night. He was supposed to land at RDU at 4:30....but he got delayed and didn't get home until 12:30!!! Ugh.....just another bump in the road!! He's home, thank goodness and that takes part of the load off of me. Of course I hate hearing about all he got to eat....$100 appetizers, steak dinners, etc....but I keep hoping my time is coming.
Thursday and Friday I subbed for Jenna's class and I LOVED it!!! Her class is so good and Lauren had every little detail for me. I didn't feel like I was working at all! I wish I could do this permanently!!! (I sure wish this would happen......only in my dreams).
Yesterday was church. I enjoyed seeing pictures of the ladies retreat, yet it was hard in a way because it looked like so much fun. I heard about their "small groups" and that bothered me, I must admit. I think I am a little jealous about getting to "bond" with other Christian ladies....something I don't feel I can do at church. I hate that children are just left to run around without parental supervision, so I'm always watching mine and what conversations I do have, are not deep. I really would have loved to get to know some of the ladies better and have them know me too. It looked like a ton of fun. I also heard several people tell me "we talked about you several times this weekend" and yet I can't get anyone to tell me what was said. You know me....I'm a very curious person.
So, I think that catches me up for awhile. Ups and downs...all part of life and I hope I am a stronger person because of it all.

money saving monday.....

I know I'm starting this on Sunday, but it's for my Monday post. These are my freebies for the week. I got two packs of M and M's for free, two more Oust (thanks to a buy one get one free coupons, these have been money making deals for me). I got two 12 packs of drinks and 5 packs of Chick Fil A Valentine cards. I also got free samples in the mail. So my Valentines Day cards are for the kids to give (and for me to give to my preschool kids). They come 1o in a pack and the person receiving the card can go and get a free ice cream at Chick Fil A. They are $2.50 a pack. I asked for 5. The lady didn't know how to ring them up and asked for help. When she gave me the total she said $2.99 (for the chicken sandwich I bought). I said "what about the valentines" she said, "they are free". I said "so I only owe for the chicken sandwich....what about the valentines" she told me don't worry about it because that is how it rang up. I try to be honest, and I feel since I asked the lady twice and she didn't want to worry about it (and they were not crowded) then I have done my part....so that was $12.50 I saved!!

It's the little things that make me happy.....

It is the little things that make me happy. Garner, (near White Oak Theaters) is getting a Char Grill!!! I am so excited. I LOVE Char grill!! Also, I noticed yesterday that busy shopping center is FINALLY getting a light!! It was getting too busy over that way, and trying to cross over from Kohl's to Target was getting dangerous, and almost impossible (can you tell I spend too much time over there?)

Counting My Blessings

I am so thankful today for:

• the health of my family
• some wonderful kids
• a husband who loves me
• friends that care (and surprise you with little things)
• time alone today to catch up around the house (and I have A LOT TO DO)
• a chance to go out for a walk
• a chance to earn money by subbing at SCS on Thursday and Friday
• only 3 more days and my best friend will be home

Happy Tuesday!!

Money Saving Monday

I didn't do as well this week because of my schedule and having sick kids, but I still snagged up a few freebies. I was able to get the Oust for free thanks for ECB's and a buy one get one free coupon (and I have needed it this weekend) plus I got back $6 more dollars from the deal. I love it when the cashier is impressed! I also got another box of rice. Next I got some soap and a thermacare heat wrap which Joshua really needed yesterday too. Thank you God!

I need to apologize for my post yesterday. I was at the lowest point of my day yesterday. However, I do want to keep it to look back on. Things hopefully will be brighter today. Thank you for the two people who called me last night to check up on me and to let me know we were missed. You will never know how much that meant to me!! It is exactly what I needed. And thank you Wes for checking up on Joshua. I think he was too sick to realize what was going on, but I hope Joshua can learn by your fine example.

Joyful J-Walking????

I'm trying to stay true to my blog title, but I swear I could run into a corner and just cry. I'm trying hard to hold it together, but it's so hard right now. If you haven't read my prior post about the week I've had....read that first....then you can see it hasn't gotten much better. This morning around 2 am Jenna woke up sick....I mean sick. Not as bad as Jacob, but more often. Absolutely no sleep from that point on. Joshua woke up (8 am) and the next thing I know he is in the bathroom. I had two of them going at one time, running myself crazy....doing laundry, cleaning buckets, lysoling everything down. I was looking forward to some adult conversation today too! I swear, I can't handle just a 10 minute a night conversation with my husband, and I truly needed the help today. I can't even get out to get the kids sprite or Gatorade, crackers, soup....the things we need when we are sick. They are getting tired of water, but what can I do?
I thought we were turning the corner and just maybe I could get some sleep tonight (and then maybe I wouldn't be so emotional) but Joshua started all over again! Ugh! Not to mention he is so upset about his leg hurting and there is absolutely nothing I can do!! I know between him and Jenna there will not be much sleep tonight either.
Then I fight these bad, bad feelings......thinking after this week I've had (and it started Wednesday so it isn't even over) I DESERVE to get away this weekend for the retreat....I NEED to get away after this week. Then I think of Jack.....sure he's working, but he is in sunny California....he's away from all of this, he can eat WHATEVER and WHENEVER he wants. Oh how selfish I can be!! I know it's just the devil getting me when I'm exhausted. Thankfully there is no school tomorrow as I know Joshua would not be able to go. I think there is light at the end of this tunnel, and I THINK it's not an oncoming train!!!

What A Week......

I'm happy this week is almost over. Let's just say that I'm glad it's the weekend. It all started Wednesday.....we got a new student in our 4 year old class. I had his sister in the 3 year old class before I lost my hours. Annabelle is the little girl with autism who soon won my heart. Well, her brother Hunter also has autism, but 100 times worse. It was a nightmare of a day. He can't speak, only to say his name. He covers his ears and he won't sit down. When Melody and I tried to correct him, he ran away, down the hall from us twice. He kept spitting in the other kids faces and I had about 5 of them in a corner scared to death. His therapist told his mom he was not ready for this, but mom thought he was. I was literally shaking because I couldn't comfort the other 10 kids when he was running around. I've not been trained to work with severe autism (or non-severe autism). Even our class "bully" was scared of him and in a corner. I honestly don't know if I can make it until the end of May. Melody and I were both relieved when he didn't show up today. (we already have one autistic child in class, but we can control him...but he was feeding off the other one).
After this we had a staff meeting. I was really bothered because I told my boss that I would be willing to sub on the days that I don't work. We had two teachers out on Thursday and she didn't call me after she told me I could sub. It really bothered me. She also has new plans next year. They will only have two 4 year old classes instead of 3, which means I will no longer get the 4 year olds which is my passion. I don't know if I will get 5 days or not, but if I do, I will strictly be working with 3 year olds. She is adding an extra 2 year old class, but I told her I didn't want to work 2's as I feel that is just babysitting. Sometimes I feel that I am getting "pushed out" of this door, but God has not opened another door yet.
Next, Jacob got sick early Thursday morning. Thankfully it was a very very quick bug and thankfully Jack got up to help me because I don't know if after the day like that if I would have had the strength to handle it on my own. Normally I am ok because my mommy mode kicks in, but not this time. Just a few hours after this Jack left for sunny San Diego. I miss him so much. It is SO HARD to be a single parent. I get so lonely at nights and sometimes a little scared of being on my own. It would have been nice to get away next weekend after the week I have had, but I'll be ok. I do need to be thankful as my niece's husband has to go to Haiti, and my friend's husband has been deployed for Afghanistan for a YEAR!!! She has three kids the same ages as I do, and I don't know how she will do it. Meanwhile, I will pray for continued strength and that next week will be a better week for me. Only 7 more days and he will be home!

Proud Mom

God knew I needed a pick me up today. Today the kids got their report cards, and I am so happy with the results. Joshua came up from A/B honor roll to the A honor roll.

Bible A+

Math A-

English B (he only had three grades)

Reading B

Spelling A

Penmanship B+

History A

"Joshua continues to do well academically and he participates in class discussions. Though he is easily distracted, he gets back on track and usually completes his work in a timely manner. I enjoy having him in my class.

Jacob got "A" honor roll as well. Poor little guy has the one B that keeps him from Pastor's List. He even got two A+'s

Bible A

Math A

Phonics A

Reading B

Spelling A+

Writing A+

Jacob continues to make good progress in all areas. He is working harder to show more expression as he reads. Keep up the beautiful writing.

Jenna got Pastor's List.

Bible E

Math S+

Phonics E

Reading E

Writing E

Jenna is doing an excellent job in kindergarten. She is becoming a wonderful reader and she also excels in math. I love having her sweet spirit in class. I am looking forward to her progress next quarter. It is so exciting to watch her learn and grow.

Weekend Fun

We had a fun, busy weekend. Friday the kids and I met Jack and went to Remington Grill. Then we headed over to the RBC Center because we had Carolina Hurricane Tickets. Two of our tickets were free, the other three were discounted half off, and we had lower court. It's always fun to go to the hockey game. Saturday we headed to Crabtree mall and went shopping....or should I saw looking since I didn't buy anything.

Money Saving Monday

Here are my free items for the week. Harris Teeter ran "super doubles" where they will double your coupon up to $1.98, so I took full advantage of it. The top picture shows rice and WW muffins (which I never buy) that were absolutely free with my double coupons. The bottom picture shows that I got wet ones, and two lysol wipes for free. The light bulbs, Oust and candy bar came from CVS but with my ECB's, they were also free! I also stocked up and got a lot of items for around 25 cents.

A Little Disappointed..........

I'm a little disappointed. First of all Jack is leaving next Thursday for San Diego. I tried to get away with him for the weekend (especially since I have Monday off for MLK day) but that didn't work out. Next, he comes home last night and says he has to stay two more days and won't be home until the following Friday (disappointment two). One of the biggest disappointments is getting this email last night " The rest of the meals you can sit back and relax and enjoy the other ladies taking care of you". Enjoy "relaxing games, eating, fellowshipping, FREE TIME (to sit and read a book, watch movies, GO SHOPPING, or whatever you choose) No fixing up required (not that I fix up) FEEL FREE TO STAY IN PJS.....THIS IS YOUR TIME TO RELAX!!!" Yep, I miss the ladies retreat again. Every year Jack goes on a trip the same time of year, and every year the ladies take a retreat at the same time.
Yes, I'm a little "bitter" about this. A beach trip, relaxing, doing whatever I want. No, it won't work out for me. Jen never gets a chance to RELAX, RENEW and RECHARGE. I always get bothered when all the ladies come back because they seem to form this bond, this closeness that I don't get to share. I feel like I need this time to let my walls down and make some bonds, but it won't happen. So forgive me if when you come home I plug my ears about how nice it was to sit by the beach, stay in PJ's etc.....please pray for me next Thursday while Jack is gone a week and a day and I'm alone with the kids.

Free Time

I'm pleased to say that with some work, I have kept my kitchen clean. This means that I have to take the extra moment to put things away, but I'm proud it has lasted this long.
This has been my first week with two days off. I must say I enjoyed my time yesterday, but was a little lost. I did exercise and run to Target (man Target is great at 8:20 in the morning....you have the store practically to yourself) and cleaned out half of the closet. Tomorrow I plan on running a couple of errands, exercise and do some freezer cooking. I'm going to make two small pans of mashed potatoes (I make them in the crock pot) some English muffin pizzas, and maybe a meatloaf. It will be good to have these in the freezer for extra meals or for Mondays when my schedule is totally crazy. Maybe I'll get motivated to clean some more tomorrow too!

Things I got accompished over break

Yes, it's official....break is over. I'm not ready to go back. I've enjoyed being at home, and I have gotten a lot accomplished. I dread trying to get up, get everyone ready, fed, and out the door. I'll miss my free time. Here are some things I got accomplished over break:

Christmas decorations taken down and put away
Kitchen totally cleaned and re-organized
Jenna's room and closet totally cleaned out
Consignment sale items (toys and stuff) put together and ready to go (still need to be priced)
Under the bed totally cleaned and re-organized
350+ book read and finished

Jack asked me if I was done with projects. I don't think a woman is EVER done with projects. I know I still need to do the boys room and closet (ugh), the hall closets, my room and closet (ugh) and by then I will think of more things to do.

I've totally enjoyed the two books I have just read.....Christian fiction. I get so into the character that I can't put the book done. I read part one for a "book club" with my friends Heather, Kim and Traci. We met for dinner and then read the discussion questions in the back and had the best discussion. Who knew you could get so much out of a fiction book? So, now we are reading book two in the series and I finished that. I think I'll go over the review questions so that I will totally be prepared for late January or February. The bad part is that book three does not come out until June of 2010 so I would love to start reading some more Christian non-fiction. Does anyone have any good ideas or something I can borrow until June of 2010? I can't wait for it to come out as it always leaves me hanging!!!