I talked with a friend over the weekend. (no names listed....she reads my blog) She asked me what would I do in this situation, and I wasn't really sure, so I decided to ask my readers...what would YOU do? My friend celebrated a special anniversary with her husband over the weekend. Her husband wanted to do something special for his wife, so he arranged for her to get away for a half day. She thinks the idea sounds great, but the cost of this is around $150. As much as she wants to do this, she keeps thinking about what this money could buy. She has 4 kids. She could buy herself and her kids some clothes with this money, she could buy two weeks of groceries with this money. Her husband agrees that this is a lot of money to go out with, but he told her this is a special event and they only celebrate this anniversary one time and he wants her to do what she wants to do. He is ok with her going, but understands if she would rather use their money in a different way.
Part of me would go in a heartbeat, but the other part of me wonders how many clothes I could buy for me and my kids, or how I could buy groceries for two weeks, or many other needed things for the house. What would you do?????
Monday, March 23, 2009
Ask My Readers....What Would You Do?,,,,,,
Posted by Jennifer at 4:01 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Several points to consider:
A)This is an anniversary GIFT.
B)If she wants her husband to continue being a good gift giver, then she needs to be a good gift receiver. (returning something just because you don't like it often signals you don't like the receiver or the thoughts/time behind the gift)
C)An anniversary gift screams romance, connection, commitment...in other words...a couple. If she wants to do something else with the money, and he's okay with it, that's fine, but she should seriously reserve a portion of that money for doing something either WITH HIM or FOR HIM. Taking such a romantic gift and spending it on herself and the kids and not considering her husband in the equation shows a serious imbalance in priorities. He should be her first earthly commitment.
D) If she does use this money for something such as clothes, every time the kids wear those clothes, or she does, she needs to verbally comment on what a wonderful provider he is and how much it thrills her and makes her feel pampered to know they have such luxury items. Men need encouragement just as much as we women do, maybe even more. And she needs to make sure he understands how much she appreciates his willingness to make her feel like a princess even if she didn't accept it.
E) This is going to sound crass, but for a guy to give a gift that means something that relaxing or luxurious, he's most likely hoping to put her in the mood for something else. ESPECIALLY if she applies the money toward other things, she needs to make sure she's attentive to his intimate needs, or she's signifying that those needs are not important to her, even more so if she's always stressed or complaining about being tired or not having time to herself, or having so much to do, etc.
just some food for thought
I TOTALLY understand the hesitation to use the money- but I would say that the husband really wanted to make his wife happy. he probably thought and thought about something that she would personally like - just for her. I think our husbands do see how much a wife has to do for the family and uses her money for the family (usually), so it would probably make him happiest if she did exactly what he planned. (and then tried not to feel guilty about it)
You only live once! Worry about saving money later :) :)
A wise friend once gave me this advice that I still think about often. You and your perplexed friend can consider it too:
"Receiving graciously is a gift to the giver."
:)
Post a Comment